Monday, August 17, 2009

What it Takes, and What I'll Take ...



What I’ll take:

-A fractured sense of what I am, what I’m worth and where I’m headed.
-One suitcase/laptop case, a change or two of clothes (who cares we are in the woods!), some pjs, extra socks, shoes and flippy flops, a hairbrush, meds, contacts, glasses, lotions, soap, mascara and lip gloss (don't ask me why!?!?! just seems rote), a medical dictionary and the current drug listings just in case my med clients need me, and my favorite client folder (the client I don’t mind if they bother me in their non-medical and more interesting fashion while I’m away), a good book or two or three or nine (in the event that no clients can reach me while I’m in the woods), art supplies, paper, pencil, old magazines and a glue stick.
-No razor because I plan to keep my wrists intact, not trim my bangs and if you must know I’m a “hairless wonder” leg and armpit-wise and I don’t have to shave much … hate me if you want to, it’s just in my genes.
-A very sharp knife, because I don't trust kitchen "utensils" which will otherwise be provided, and really what if I suddenly had the urge to hack at my bangs!?!?!?, skin a wild boar and/or carve my initials into something solid and worthy.
-Fishing license and wicker tackle purse, bug spray, vintage and odd-ball tackle, a bent and worn first-aid, lifesaving and trail guide that mostly I keep around because it gives me laughing fits when I read the text and look at the graphics.
-Sunglasses, since my rose-colored glasses are missing.
-A dog leash.
-My little dog too.
-Kennel and rations.
-A good frying pan since, again, I don’t trust the “kitchen and other needed utensils” provided.
-Kitchen towels and linens, since these are not provided.
-An extra blanket, because what if the one provided is scratch and/or questionable.
-Eggs, bacon, potatoes, pork ribs, ground sirloin, red and green grapes, spinach leaves, onions, mushrooms, nuts, fruit, slabs of margarine and butter, peanut butter, jelly, hard rolls, black and green olives, chunks of really good cheese, but not so many that I don’t have the excuse to go out scouting for more, because you know there are great cheese forests in Wisconsin, rows and rows of cheese growing to the sky, giant and Redwoods, and then the mushrooms I packed and ate wore off!
-My worn tattered medicine bag, because I might be brave enough to bury the dead this time, or not ...
-Tanqueray-10.
-Diet Pepsi.
-Green Tea.
-Bread crumbs in case I decide I want to find my way home.
-A warm wrap for the chilly nights.
-A cold shoulder for anyone who tries to get in the way of my fun, or what looks to the naked eye to be un-fun, but is really me trying to unravel and re-weave myself into something I can use.
-My MP3 player just in case I get sick of the sound of the wild, yeah right, like that will happen.
-Toothbrush, because I’m really not clear what twig the Native Americans used to brush their teeth, and I’m not really up for getting poisoned by a rare hemlock.
-A compass, in case, despite the bread crumbs, I just can’t find my way home.
-A smart pair of sparkly shoes to click while I repeat the words, “There’s no place like home, th
ere’s no place like home …” just in case that’s all it really takes.

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