... I've been working on this concept, I truly have, and today was my "launch day," although I'm still ironing out the kinks and the gist of things, which I'll explain in my next blog entry. But I have been planning this, and I planned with good reason to complete the thirty days on exactly the 30th of April, the meaning of which will be fleshed out as I continue.
Right now, I'm spending the week, some lovely, long goofy event-filled days with my seven-year-old grand-daughter, Ruth.
Ruthie is on Spring break right now from her year-round school. Their school break is quite long, so I took the time to have the "oldest" over for the longest, all three of the grand girls next week, and then the "second oldest," Scarlet, for "almost the longest" prior to the break being over.
The youngest, Lili, I see quite frequently during the week and sometimes overnights, while her sissies are in school, but this far into the school year, they were ready for the break. And I was ready to have some alone time with them too. My daughter reported, "It's a good thing the break is coming because Ruthie and Rae have been riding Lili's butt about how she gets to see you the most!
However, while I'm seeing the girls each on a solitary basis, and once over in a group, as well as for Easter, rinse and repeat, I'm also working on the launch of ... of what!??!?! Of me, I guess, onward and upward and away from the things that have been holding me back, chronically.
I've been making some mental lists, after much introspection and self-evaluation trying to work towards a plan that will reveal a more ... a more what?!?!?! A more authentic me, I guess, but that is such a dated buzz-word way of trying to explain it. Perhaps I'll have my own personal buzz-word/s as I navigate through this.
This week, however, leading up to my "launch," has been delightful, a home spa treatment where I'm covered in little girl goddess germs. It's refreshing to be around young minds and hearts, especially if yo've been slogging through your own murky brain and heart for weeks on end, trying to come up with a meaner greener plan.
With my kids, or my grand-kids, or any kid, I wake up thinking, All I have to do today is show up!
It's that frickin' easy to be.
So it's been wonderfully waking up days on end, into Ruthie's seven year old world, where all I have to do is say, "Good morning, goof girl, what do you want for breakfast?" and she looks at me like I could pull the moon down if she asked for it.
Earlier this week I remarked to a client, since I worked a bit less this week, about how much fun I was having, and then ended it by saying, "I want to go to Amazon.com and order everyone a seven-year-old to hang out with for a week."
To which she said, "You say that about four-year-olds when Lili is there, and ..."
Um, yeah, so, you get what I mean.
Peace out. I have one more day in home-spa "Grandma Annie" land, and then four days to regroup during which I fully intend continue to flesh out some of the things I feel are essential for me to do for "30 days until it's a habit." And I'm also sticking to my other favorite adage, "You are at 80, who you were at 8."
It's all there, the real us, right inside of the stubborn, balking, split personas we futz with ... it just takes time and a healthy reminder or two as to what's at our core!
Peace out, loves.
And as I close this, I give you Goddess Ruth, who today mastered chopsticks!