Thursday, March 24, 2011

four days into spring ...

Four days into Spring: Frozen tears clinging to the high branches, set against a sky so blue, so sunshine morning bright I had to squint, my eyes so pinched from lack of sleep, and now-dry tears I wasn’t even sure I was getting the shots right. Heavy wet snow, blanketing the woods, holding all the trees steady, warming my sore heart in the odd way that snow always warms my heart, sun shining on the lot of it all. The sun will help the trees shake off their tears today, the snow will melt, the woods will return to mud and mulch, the crocus will reshape its bowed back, raise its head and bloom. The redwing, the cardinal, the robin and the rest will resume their banter, the crane his whoop-whoop. And at the same time, my grief howls at the moon, stands in bare feet on a hillside, in the mud, pinches toes over twigs and pebbles, as they shoot by in the current of the ice melt, wishes to stop it all, wants to start over, wants winter never to end.

**the deal was i was going to take some time off, two weeks “or so,” and use said time to declutter some physical spaces in our home, and move my office from its makeshift space downstairs to it’s “forever space” upstairs, kind of swapping spaces with my 18-year-old daughter who will be transitioning to college within a 6-month period. we are also prepping for a remodel on that lower level of the house as well. i was also looking forward to restarting my blog, restarting my art, jumpstarting/restarting a lot of stuff about my “self” as i also transitioned into yet another stage of life. as it turns out, and as life has a way of never turning out quite like you plan, i’ll be working on more than just physical spaces during this time. it could get ugly, or could be worse, i might not write another single word.**

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