Friday, July 31, 2009

Holy F'ing Kiss, Batman!!!!!




I feel two ways about dreams. Number one, I agree that many things that are left on your desktop and not filed away in your hard drive, or otherwise adequately dealt with or deleted, will fly out in your dreams while you try to sleep. I know, I made our heads sound like computers, but they are sort of, right?

Secondly, while I like dream journaling and dream dictionaries where you pick a word or object in your dream and try to find out what it symbolizes, and what it really means, I don’t really take that route, wholly.

I like better the idea that you are supposed to note, upon first waking from the dream, and/or first calling it up later in the next day, what you were feeling about that dream, all told up to its very end. It’s more about what you are feeling that what the dream means.

And now for your listening/blogging pleasure, I will give you a dream I had last night which totally knocked my dream socks off … and yes, I was wearing socks to bed, because we’ve been having that “good sleeping weather” where the breezes drift in and I’m a wimp, and my feet get cold!

Anyways, the dream:
I am in it … yes, we are often the stars of our own dreams! And a very close friend, writing cohort and lover of words and other such was in the dream with me. We were at a local pub, which had just opened, run by some friends of mine who had just recently closed their first pub in order to open this newer, improved pub.

[this was very much on the surface of my mind because i’ve been very, very busy of late, and they did open the new pub, and i went when it opened, but they keep begging me to come back since!]

So, me and close friend/writing cohort/lover of words-and-other-such are sitting at a table or booth. I am pretty sure it was not directly at the bar, or perched high on proverbial barstools, because judging by what happened next, that would have been far too public (for even one of my dreams!!!) and I would have fallen right off my barstool in the midst of it, because I’m a gangly 5 foot, 10-inch clutzoid! We would have both fallen to our DEATHS!!!! as one can only imagine!

So booth-y type set-up or two chairs parked at a table it was, and we were shoulder tight, and heads turned in very close, deep conversation the likes of any two close friends/writing cohorts or lovers of words and other such! Just chatting and catching up and picking apart any number of subjects, right?!!?!

And then, HE KISSED ME!

ON.THE.LIPS!!!!!

Well, obviously on the lips, but I’m only just saying.

And then there was all the usual stuff that goes on with kissing like first your eyes are open, and you are sort of sitting side-by-side, but now suddenly in each others face, but it's still sort of a suprise of a kiss, and then you are both looking at each other, and deciding whether it’s going to be more than just that little kiss, or if for instance (and I’m not saying this happened in my dream BUT IT TOTALLY DID!!!) he’s going to be darting his tongue in my mouth, to which of course my tongue darts back, our eyes close and we are kissing like mad!

Then there is more of this Holy Shit Batman, we are kissing!!!! thing going on, and this is where our eyes are open again, and we are looking at each other as if we have just seen each other for the first time, and then there is this shy, we are kind of still kissing, but not really, and then he’s doing this thing where he “bites” at my lower lip pout, and I in response bite back!!!!! catching his upper lip ever-so- … ever so what?!!?!? ever so what, is right! I’m not supposed to be kissing him!

So you can see why it’s impossible that we were propped up on any sort of side-by-side barstool arrangement because we totally would have lost our balance and fallen in a fit of passion onto the floor, or a fit of sheer surprise with passion mixed in, or something!

And I’m only saying this because I very nearly fell out of my dream when this happened! And it’s almost a full 24 hours later and I still can’t find my socks!

But instead, I stayed in the dream, and in the dream it becomes the next day and I’m all worried about, Okay, what the hell was THAT, that happened last night?!!?!
I mean, sure there’s an attraction there, but there is also this thing called, how complicating would that be since we both are involved with other people, and so the whole idea is just crazy! Crazy, I say!!!

Until it happened! (in my dream of course)

And I’m also trying to just get through this regular next day, as if it’s just any old regular day in my life of regular days, which during this particular time in my life, the next day found me working, while also chatting in varying manners (computer, phone and smoke rings) with all three of my daughters in prep for middle daughter’s wedding, in keeping with older daughter’s relocation and solidifying plans to pick up younger daughter in time for the wedding weekend, house closing stuff, landscaping concerns, etc. etc., and oh, yeah, I have a boyfriend and a very lot of this WE PLAN TOGETHER!!!!!

Gradually, my next day in the dream continues and I’m sort of able to put the whole kissing thing aside because in all the forms of communication available to me, I have not heard a word from the Kissing Person (we’ll just call him that to protect his innocence), not a phone text, not a yahoo.com mail, not a phone call and nary a smoke ring. So, I’m starting to be all
whew, that was close! I guess it was really nothing!

And then I check my hotmail.com email (my default mail) which I hardly ever use, so I only check it every other week or so, and there it is, AN EMAIL FROM HIM!!!! THE KISSING PERSON!

In so many words he mentions the life-altering nature of our kissing, and I can clearly see the words on the screen saying that he is now done with his wife (FOR REAL!!!) and her “never-ending ‘to do’ list” or some such madness, and no one is pushing him around any longer, and I’m all it and the bomb and the rest, and then … I WOKE UP!

And the first thing I thought and/or felt was, Geez, Kissing Person, that kind of mail should have been sent directly to my yahoo.com address, because all day I had myself talked into the fact that this wasn’t as complicated as I made it out to be, and I had pretty much downsized it to a minor passionate kissing speed bump, and now I get this email! … in my dreams!!! Yeah, I know, but still! You know?!?!!?

So what was I feeling!?!?!?!?! No longer relieved that it was just something silly that happened in passing, because it really, really was KISSING, and slightly guilty, oddly tickled that I could still remember what the kissing "felt" like, then even more guilty, and yeah I think that about covers it. Guilt! with a side order of HOLY COW WHAT A KISS!

These dreams, complicated much?!?!?!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

cheating ... well, kind of (for our picture challenge)

Kerry picked the pic this time ... this is my words to go with it, which it wasn't so much that I couldn't think of fresh words, or didn't have time to write something fresh, but the total surround-y-ness of the water in this one, and the person in the pic made me think of this one ...


wading, waiting no more

teetering,
on the very edge,
i gave up
and ventured in.

waiting...

... you do not follow.

wading ...

.... the water tickles
laps at my ankles
travels my shins,
well past my knees.

waiting ...

... you do not follow.

wading ...

... dangling limp,
my wrists submit
sea weeds and algea
adorn my hips.

waiting ...

... you do not follow.

wading ...

... breasts on wave,
then drowned,
neck and shoulders
shrug on a liquid cowl.

waiting ...

you do not follow.

wading ...

... final descent
water replaces air,
my eyes are erased
my ears open to the sea.

waiting ...

... i do not hear you calling.

... done wading.
okay, gary, your turn and then yippy skippy i get to pick the pic and start the word ball rolling again. :)